


This, unbeknownst to him, is

by plutoisgay



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Wrong Number AU, all ships beside kagehina are only mentioned, but not in the way u would think, im sorry the summary sucks alskjdf, they're both oblivious idiots tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21957457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plutoisgay/pseuds/plutoisgay
Summary: Bokuto needs a new phone.Miscommunication occurs due to two idiots.Unbeknownst to him, this directly affects Kageyama Tobio.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 211





	This, unbeknownst to him, is

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my girlfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+girlfriend).



> this is a Secret Santa gift for my girlfriend maya, @pear_on_a_boat on twitter please go follow her 
> 
> maya if ur reading this ily

Absolutely nobody was surprised when Bokuto had to get a new phone, after supposedly launching his own off of an apartment roof while trying to take a selfie with a passing meteor shower. Akaashi, hearing the news after Bokuto came barging into their room crying about a shattered everything, had merely sighed and dragged Bokuto to the mall and got him a flip phone, stating that he could use that until they could afford a more permanent replacement.

Tobio, unrelated to the entire mishap, knows all of this because Bokuto had gone whining about it to Kuroo, who had then complained to Daichi that Bokuto wouldn’t shut up about his phone, who then complained to Tobio that he, “had stupid friends and regretted ever associating himself with them”. Tobio had no idea why Daichi had decided to complain to him of all people, but to be honest, he didn’t care much. Daichi ragging on about Bokuto and Kuroo meant that Daichi wasn’t focused on Tobio doing an, admittedly, poor job as a barista, which was all he really cared about.

This did mean, however, that everyone had to get Bokuto’s new number, a process that ironically became a game of telephone.

(Of course, the game of telephone wasn’t realized for a good two weeks.)

Akaashi tried to tell everyone himself what Bokuto’s new number was. However, Bokuto wanted to help as well, subsequently becoming a bit too enthusiastic as he started to proudly proclaim his new phone number as if it had won him a volleyball national championship trophy. Akaashi didn’t think to stop him, assuming that his partner would say the exact number that had been written on his own wrist as a precaution. This was the first (and last) time that Akaashi would under-estimate Bokuto’s ability to, albeit good-naturedly, mess things up.

Tobio acquired Bokuto’s number through the means of said man running into the Karasuno Cafe, spitting out a string of numbers that he read directly off of his wrist, and then dashing back out all in the span of ten seconds.

Unfortunately for Tobio, who didn’t speak “owl-screeching-disguised-as-Bokuto-yelling,” he misheard the last two numbers of “six-nine” as “six-five.” When Daichi offered to repeat the number to all of the employees, Tobio had arrogantly stated that he had already gotten it and had no need for confirmation. This was not an overestimation on his part - Tobio was merely far too confident in himself for someone of his academic intellect.

So here Tobio was, on break and sitting in a booth of the cafe and sipping a glass of milk, texting Bokuto’s new number. He plans on just sending a simple “this is Kageyama”, but before he can type it out, his phone pings with a new message.

From: XXX-XXX-XX65  
hey!!!! wow a new number how awesome! thought id text u first, got ur number from suga

Tobio frowns, but decides not to question why Bokuto wanted to seek out his phone number, and from his manager’s boyfriend, of all people.

To: Bokuto  
ok

From: Bokuto  
:D cool!!!

Tobio sets down his phone, sips a bit of his milk, and then begins to think of volleyball strategies to play on the court during his next practice.

This, unbeknownst to him, is the start of a series of rather unfortunate events.

~ ~ ~ ~

From: Bokuto  
heyy do u remember the name of that one super tall and intimidating looking spiker i wanna find him and talk to him about tips for spiking please ty

To: Bokuto  
lev? from nekoma?

From: Bokuto  
no no no im buddies with lev i mean the one that looks like he's in a gang. super tall and has long hair and the first time i saw him i was all like WAAGGHHHAHH bc he was super scary yknow?? but then i saw him play and he was super good and i was like WOAAHHAH and now i wanna find himmm

To: Bokuto  
i don’t know anyone else.

From: Bokuto  
awww :(

~ ~ ~

Once again, Tobio thought that it was rather odd when he received a text message from Bokuto. He didn’t think they were particularly close. Close enough to exchange numbers, perhaps, but not for Bokuto to come to him for advice like that. Then again, Tobio didn’t know Boktuo all that well. Maybe this was normal for him and he finally decided to subject himself onto Tobio via text messages.

In the end, though, Tobio didn’t really care all that much about it.

Instead, he wanted to spend the little social skills he had while working with his customers. He happened to have the absolute pleasure of serving yet another talkative and rather obnoxious customer.

He gives a tight smile that most likely comes off as a grimace, and in response to the customer complaining yet again about a lukewarm coffee and demanding a refund, tells her that he will talk to his manager about it. He, of course, has no intentions of telling Daichi - who would quite literally skin him alive for something so trivial - and instead takes her iced frappuccino back to the kitchen.

No, he didn’t understand why she would order an iced drink if she didn’t even want it to be cold. Tobio rarely ever even understood the more manageable customers on a good day.

Tobio passed Nishinoya on the way back to the kitchen, who was currently working as the waiter and was running about the cafe. The shorter, yet older, man seemed to immensely enjoy his job, interacting with customers as if they were long time friends. Tobio didn’t know how he came in everyday and never got tired of putting on a smile for the customers. Tobio would like a bit of whatever he’s having, if it gets him through work with a good attitude.

Unfortunately, “what Noya’s having” is most likely a healthy and loving relationship with his high school sweetheart, now husband, whom he never stops chattering about. Tobio hadn’t ever met him before, but if he’s anything like what Noya describes him to be, he might as well be an angel.

“Asahi! Asahi! You came to visit me! Just wait two more seconds and I’ll be on my break.” Noya shouts, and then runs even faster around the cafe to finish off serving his tables.

Tobio glances over at the visitor, and startles when he sees a giant of a man enter the shop. Even taller than Tobio, who stood at 6’1”, and had the appearance of a mafia boss - narrowed eyes, long and pulled back hair, trimmed beard, suit, everything. Tobio began to slightly worry about Noya’s safety. Slightly.

And then the mafia boss opened his mouth to talk.

“Ah - wait - Noya - I actually was wondering if you happened to see my glasses anywhere? I ran out of contacts and couldn’t find my glasses so I can’t really see that well right now.” Tobio blinked, shocked by the timid voice that came from the mafia boss lookalike. Noya, in a very Noya-like fashion, started to cackle.

“How do you lose your glasses, silly? Asahi you’re squinting everywhere because you can’t see, you look even more like a delinquent! Oh! Wait. Don’t you have a game later tonight? Oh no, how are you supposed to play if you can’t see where to hit the volleyball? Don’t worry, Asahi! I’ll help you find your glasses!” Then, in a flurry of movement - and perhaps a quiet shout of “rolling thunder!” - Noya disappears into the kitchen, presumably to change out of his uniform to end his shift.

Tobio eyes Asahi, who’s currently standing nervously at the counter, then looks down at his phone, and remembers his recent conversation with Bokuto. He makes up his mind, and then approaches Asahi from behind the counter.

“Position?” Tobio asks, and Asahi startles.

“Um, pardon?”

“What position do you play?”

“Oh,” Asahi rubs the back of his neck. “Wing spiker and ace. I, uh, play for the local team. With Noya.”

Tobio nods slightly, content with the answer. Asahi, now seeming open to conversation, speaks up again. “Do you play? Volleyball, I mean.”

Tobio gives a slight grunt. “Yeah. Setter.” Asahi perks up. “Really? Do you still play?”

Shifting his stance, Tobio thinks of how to respond. He played a lot in high school, obsessively, almost, but once he got into college, he found it harder and harder to make time to practice. As well as the fact that he had no one to practice with. He didn’t exactly make a lot of friends in high school. Most likely due to his cold and closed off demeanor.

With no access to a volleyball court, or anyone willing to play, he took up a job at the Karasuno Cafe to pass his free time, as well as to pay for his college education. His coworkers were nice enough, and Daichi wasn’t that mean of a boss, so he didn’t really mind. But he would quit the job in an instant if it meant he could go back to playing volleyball daily.

“…Occasionally. When I have time.”

Asahi brightens. “Well, y’know, my team is missing a permanent setter, so if you ever want to-“ He’s cut off by - and yes, there was definitely a “rolling thunder!” shouted - Noya appearing just as suddenly as he had left.

“C’mon Asahi! Let’s go look for your glasses. Let’s go!” Noya then proceeds to drag Asahi, someone most likely twice his weight and size, out of the cafe and down the street. Tobio watches them go with slight amusement, and thinks that he would never let someone drag him around like that, especially someone that small. His pride wouldn’t allow it.

This, unbeknownst to him, is extremely ironic.

~ ~ ~

To: Bokuto  
the spiker. is it Asahi?

From: Bokuto  
:O YEAHHH THAT WAS HIS NAME  
tysm!!!!!  
i would've asked suga about this but he wasn't at the practice when asahi visited and he didn't know who I was talking about when I described but I don't know why  
like he looks like GRRSHSGRPAHH >:( yknow like whats so confusing about that  
anyways thanks for telling me! howd u find out??

To: Bokuto  
he visited my job and fit your description.  
i asked if he played volleyball and he did.  
that means he had to be the spiker you were looking for.

From: Bokuto  
thats all u asked him? isn't that pretty vague though?

To: Bokuto  
you're the one who described him by a keysmash  
im allowed to be vague.  
and it worked anyways

From: Bokuto  
true true  
but since u found him that means u understood my description tho so whos vague now hmm? not me thats for sure

To: Bokuto  
whatever

~ ~ ~

From: Bokuto  
i just saw asahi at practice and asked him tips! he was with this really short dude even shorter than me :o

To: Bokuto  
short dude? do you mean nishinoya?  
and a lot of people are shorter than you

From: Bokuto  
yeah probably he said his name was noya  
and what?? dude did u lose ur glasses? who do u know thats shorter than me?

To: Bokuto  
no asahi was the one who lost his glasses  
well apparently nishinoya is  
and children  
children are shorter than you  
i don't know many short people  
but there must be some

From: Bokuto  
are u teasing me??

To: Bokuto  
are you not taller than the average child?

From: Bokuto  
well that depends on how tall the average child is

To: Bokuto  
they're not 6 feet tall if thats what youre wondering  
probably not even 5 feet

From: Bokuto  
oh  
well then yeah im probably taller than a child

To: Bokuto  
only probably?

From: Bokuto  
well I mean yeah  
wait  
fuCKING LEV  
HE JUST SAID I MIGHT BE TALLER THAN A CHILD  
BUT I STILL ACT LIKE ONE  
UGH LET HIM COME DOWN HERE AND ILL PUNCH HIS FACE I SWEAR

To: Bokuto  
well

From: Bokuto  
STFU I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT

~ ~ ~

From: Bokuto  
hey can i ask u a question?

To: Bokuto  
you just did but yeah

From: Bokuto  
yOu jUsT dID bUt yEaH  
stfu  
anyways  
where do u get ur volleyball shoes from  
mine are starting to get really worn out

To: Bokuto  
at the BDE Athletics store  
they always have good sole and arch support

From: Bokuto  
ok cool thx!  
ooh wait what color should i get??

To: Bokuto  
i don't know  
black?

From: Bokuto  
noo that would look too emo  
What about orange??  
then id be really noticeable on the court

To: Bokuto  
orange?  
if thats what you want then ok  
aren't you already noticeable enough though?  
being the ace

From: Bokuto  
DON'T TEASE ME

To: Bokuto  
what?  
i wasn't teasing you

From: Bokuto  
MEANIE  
>:(

To: Bokuto  
what??

From: Bokuto  
UGH  
WHATEVER  
I HAVE TO GO BUY MY SHOES  
WHEN I GET BACK U BETTER STOP BEING MEAN

To: Bokuto  
ok

~ ~ ~

From: Bokuto  
ok i need you to answer this to settle a debate  
would you rather have edible spaghetti hair that regrows every night, or would u rather sweat maple syrup????

To: Bokuto  
what the fuck

From: Bokuto  
OK YES ITS WEIRD  
BUT ANSWER IT

To: Bokuto  
spaghetti hair.

From: Bokuto  
EXACTLY  
lev was trying to say some crap about how maple syrup would be good because “you can exercise and get sweaty and then bottle the syrup and sell it” BUT THATS BS  
AND SO GROSS  
LIKE EEEWWW

To: Bokuto  
ew  
besides why can't you do that with the spaghetti hair?  
also spaghetti is a better snack. no one wants to eat maple syrup by itself

From: Bokuto  
E X A C T L Y

~ ~ ~

At the end of the week, in which Tobio had received more text messages than he’s ever gotten before, Bokuto comes to visit the cafe again.

“Kageyama! Hey hey hey! How’s it going?” Bokuto bounds up to the counter Tobio just finished polishing and props himself up against it.

“Fine.”

“Cool! I came here to visit you - and get a snack because your cookies are super good and Keiji loves the little rice ball designs y’all make - but anyways, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join one of our practices some time? Because I heard from Asahi, well, Keiji heard from Asahi, that you play setter! That’s rad, dude, I didn’t even know! Oh, you should come to one of our practices on Saturday, it’s a really informal thing, a bunch of our friends just meet up and play volleyball. Lot’s of fun! Ooh, can I get that Christmas tree cookie? And a couple of rice balls, please.”

Tobio packages Bokuto’s items and then begins to tally up the price, all while thinking about the offer. He definitely wanted to get back into volleyball, and practices each Saturday would be good for him. The only downside is that, while he’d gotten closer to Bokuto through texting, he didn’t know anyone else that much, and had a bad habit of scaring away potential acquaintances. Maybe… he would try it out, go once and if it didn’t work out, then he wouldn’t go again.

“I’ll go to the one this Saturday.” He finally says.

“Really? Cool! By the way, I don’t think you caught my number the last time I visited. Here, I’ll write it down for you.” Kageyama frowns, and stops for a moment.

“What?”

“Yeah, I haven’t gotten a text from you yet, which is totally fine, but here’s my number just in case you lost it. Text it and then I’ll give you the location. Thanks for the snacks, by the way, bye!”

Bokuto takes off, leaving a stunned Tobio behind the counter. “What did he mean…” He trails off, now unsure of who he had been texting for the past two weeks.

~ ~ ~

To: Bokuto??  
who is this

From: Bokuto??  
huh?  
wdym?

To: Bokuto??  
what is your name

From: Bokuto??  
what?  
did u hit ur head or something?  
or did lev change all of ur contacts name again  
that would make sense, he tried to do that to kenma the other day but they caught him in the act lmao  
this is hinata shouyou!

To: ????  
i don't know who you are

From: ????  
what  
dude  
its me  
hinata  
yknow  
the guy you've been on the same volleyball team with ever since highschool?  
cmon tsukishima ur not good at making jokes

To: ????  
my name isn't tsukishima  
its kageyama

From: ????  
who the fuck

To: ????  
thats what im wondering right now

From: ????  
how did u get my number

To: ????  
ur the one who texted me first dumbass

From: ????  
DON'T BE MEAN  
and i got ur number from suga!!!  
well  
i asked him for it and he wrote it down for me  
but his handwriting is really loopy and cursive-y  
hmmm  
to be honest, that 8 could be a 0

To: ????  
so you can't read

From: ????  
nOW WAIT A SECOND  
U ALSO DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG  
so im not the only one that messed up!!

To: ????  
well the person who i thought i was texting screamed out his number  
maybe he got it wrong

From: ????  
well maybe YOU got it wrong huh  
didnt think about that did u  
omg what if you've been stalking me  
creep

To: ????  
what?  
thats so stupid

From: dumbass  
WELL U NEVER KNOW  
HOW ELSE WOULD U KNOW WHO LEV AND SUGA AND ASAHI ARE

To: dumbass  
because i've met them before obviously

From: dumbass  
Ok yeah mhm what a real coincidence that you know them but not tsukishima hmm??

To: dumbass  
i don't know every person who lives in this entire city damn

From: dumbass  
Thats what the govERNMENT WANTS U TO THINK

To: supreme dumbass  
what

From: supreme dumbass  
idk thats something lev says a lot  
he loves conspiracy theories  
he thinks that birds aren't real

To: supreme dumbass  
how  
that doesn't make any sense

From: supreme dumbass  
i never said he was smart  
hes just suuuuper tall

To: supreme dumbass  
or maybe you're just super short

From: supreme dumbass  
IM NOT SUPER SHORT STFU

To: supreme dumbass  
i bet i was wrong before. children probably are taller than you

From: supreme dumbass  
LISTEN  
NOT ALL CHILDREN

To: supreme dumbass  
lol  
how often do you get confused for a small child

From: supreme dumbass child  
ONLY ONCE A WEEK  
TSUKISHIMA ALWAYS CALL ME A KID BUT IM NOT  
I CAN JUMP HIGHER THAN HIM AND HE KNOWS IT

To: supreme dumbass child  
can you now

From: supreme dumbass child  
I SO TOTALLY CAN  
JUST U WAIT YOU'LL SEE ONE DAY

To: supreme dumbass child  
now it looks like you're the one who stalks me  
creep

From: supreme dumbass child  
COME HERE SO I CAN PUNCH U IN THE GUT  
WON'T BE LAUGHING THEN WILL U  
BAKEYAMA

To: boke  
TRY ME BOKE

From: boke  
AAGGHHFHSDSAAGGGAHG\,ANFH

~ ~ ~

To: XXX-XXX-XX69 (BOKUTO??)  
is this bokuto koutaro

From: XXX-XXX-XX69 (BOKUTO??)  
Sure is! Who’s this?  
oOh IS THIS KAGEYAMA  
BROO YAMA  
COME TO OUR PRACTICE THIS SATURDAY!  
ITS AT XXXX BDE COURTS

To: bokuto koutaro  
ok

From: bokuto koutaro  
OH YEAAAHHHHH!!  
NO TAKE BACKSIES :DDD

~ ~ ~

The next few days leading up to the weekend were uneventful for the most part, but Tobio could feel Daichi’s eyes on him as he made espresso after espresso. Under his scrutiful gaze, Tobio felt himself get more and more tense, his customer service becoming almost nonexistent as he ground out each monotonous phrase.

Heading back into the kitchen, he passed a whooping Noya (who almost spilt the five drinks he was carrying), and slumped against the freezer, forehead banging on the cool surface. He knew he couldn’t stay there for long, but god, he was exhausted.

“Everything alright?” A calm voice asked from behind Tobio. He jerked up, banging his head against the handle of the freezer, and let out a hiss. Turning around, he tried to hide his scowl as he saw Daichi standing there, arms crossed with an amused glance.

“Fine.” Tobio ground out, rubbing his head. He was not in the mood to receive a lecture from the man, knowing how lengthy and parental-like they could get.

A loud bang of the kitchen door flying against the wall announced Nishinoya’s entrance. “Are you really fine? Because lately you seem like you’ve been pouting! And you haven’t even tried to start a fight with the whipped cream machine!” Noya’s voice boomed across the small room, and Tobio grimaced. He will definitely get a headache sooner or later.

“While Noya was rather brash about it,” Daichi started, aiming a sour face at said man, “he has a point. Not about the whipped cream, which I have some questions about. But nevermind that. You’ve been acting rather… diminished lately. Anything you want to talk about?”

 _Besides the fact that I got catfished by a middle-school child sized stranger?_ Tobio thought. “No. I’m fine. Just have a headache.”

“You should take better care of yourself, Kageyama, don’t want you scaring off any more customers with your face!” Noya cackled, ducking under the slap Daichi threw his way and sprinting out of the kitchen. “Little shit.” Kageyama muttered, and Daichi let out a sigh in agreement.

“You sure you’re all good?”

“Yes. I just… have been getting spammed with telemarketers recently. It’s annoying.”

Daichi gave an understanding grimace. “Just block their numbers. And don’t click any links random numbers send you. Bokuto did that the other day and… well, let’s just say, it’s not any fun to deal with.”

Tobio scowls. “I’m not _that_ dense.”

Daichi chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. “Well, you can never be too careful. Now, get back to work before Noya sets the coffee maker on fire. Again.”

~ ~ ~

From: boke  
hey asshole.  
look at this link  
https://youtu.be/N70baRkAr9g

To: boke  
what  
why  
no  
fuck you

From:bBoke  
JUST DO IT

To: boke  
FINE

~ ~ ~

(Tobio is, in fact, _that_ dense.)

~ ~ ~

To: boke  
its a volleyball clip from this years nationals

From: boke  
duh  
of course its volleyball  
anyway isn't the spiker so cool?? his name is iwaizumi hajime!!! look at how all of his spikes fly across the court! SO COOL!!

To: boke  
i think the setter is cooler  
oikawa tooru, he’s one of the best strategists ive ever seen and his control of the court is impeccable.  
but he and iwaizumi have been partners for years so they're the best duo there is. they never have to announce their plays, they know each other so well they just do each play in sync

From: boke  
YEAH!!  
i've been trying to tell lev about them but he doesn't care >:(( but you get it!!  
whenever oikawa sets iwaizumi a ball i always go GUWAHHAHSDKLD because it doesn’t even look like hes gonna make it! but then he does!! and iwaizumi is so ripped that the ball just hits the court like BLAMMSHPWA YKNOW

To: boke  
yeah  
they're cool

From: hinata-boke  
they are!! so cool :DD

~ ~ ~

Tobio finds himself, as he promised, at the volleyball court on Saturday morning, and in a much better mood. He decided to arrive extra early, in order to get a good warmup in but failed to realize that the court didn’t open for a good half an hour. So he was stuck outside, where he started his warmups. _Might as well,_ he thought while doing stretches.

Then he started doing some warm up serves.

He imagined the picture perfect spiker, able to hit every single one of his tosses, leaping up, over the net. As he focused to properly set the ball, he could almost hear the running steps a spiker would take to jump and hit the ball. For a split second, he closed his eyes, imagining where he would need to adjust his angle to maximize efficiency, yet when he opened them, all he could see was orange.

A flying figure leaps into the air, and with a laser focused expression, spikes the ball with a powerful arm. It slams into the ground, and Tobio can already imagine how difficult it would have been to counter that. He smirks.

The spiker, landing on the ground, turns around to face Tobio, orange hair bouncing as he did. There’s a wide grin on his face, almost infectious enough to have Tobio mirror his expression.

“That was a pretty good toss! Think you can throw some more?”

He’s definitely grinning now.

(This, unbeknownst to him, is the start of something great.)

**Author's Note:**

> imagine the next scene where they tell each other their names and they both just go feral lmao
> 
> (edit 04/26/20 i added a few scenes and edited some stuff)
> 
> im @plutoisgay on twitter


End file.
